She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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