that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
if only i could text you this smell
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
