Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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