Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
50% drunk capacity currently
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
