they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
