two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
