I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
