Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
