Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
As shirtless as possible
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
