lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
