My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
