yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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