Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
