Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
