I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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