I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
