how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize