friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
