My sheets look like a crime scene.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
