if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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