the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
