I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
