You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Randomize
