peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
