didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
this just has baby written all over it
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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