this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
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