I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
