It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
