I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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