all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize