Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
