Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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