I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
