So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
