are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
