Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
