so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
3 2 1 whiskey
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
