Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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