Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
