I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
