the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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