How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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