Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
