I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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