The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
how does that bad decision feel?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
