He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
