You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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