dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
