This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
