Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize