I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
