Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
