nut hugger
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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