Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
either way he was missing a nipple.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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