I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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