help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
