Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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