I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
