you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
