You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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