gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Sorry my hands just texted you
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
