The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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