Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
you had me at cake vodka
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize